Actual Instruction Labels…

* ON A SWEDISH CHAINSAW:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
* ON PACKAGING FOR A ROWENTA IRON:
Do not iron clothes on body.
* ON A KOREAN KITCHEN KNIFE:
Warning keep out of children.
* ON A FROZEN DINNER:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
* ON A HOTEL-PROVIDED SHOWER CAP:
Fits one head.
* ON A HAIR DRYER:
Do not use while sleeping.
* ON A BAG OF FRITOS:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
* ON A BAR OF DIAL SOAP:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
* ON TESCO”S TIRAMISU DESERT:
Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.)
* ON MARKS & SPENCER BREAD PUDDING:
Product will be hot after heating.
* ON BOOTS CHILDRENS” COUGH MEDICINE:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
* ON NYTOL (A SLEEP AID):
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
* ON A STRING OF CHINESE MADE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
* ON A JAPANESE FOOD PROCESSOR:
Not to be used for the other use.
* ON SAINSBURY”S PEANUTS:
Warning: contains nuts.
* ON AN AMERICAN AIRLINES PACKET OF NUTS:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.