I bought me 2 Schnauzers
I bought me 2 baby minature schnauzers. They’re cute as hell. I named them Captain Awesome & Zoey. Captain Awesome already grew alot even though I just had him one week. Training it a lot of work…
Category: z’Old Funny Crap
Etch-A-Sketch Instruction Manual
Q: My Etch-A-Sketch has all of these funny little lines all over the screen.
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I turn my Etch-A-Sketch off?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: What’s the shortcut for Undo?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I create a New Document window?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I set the background and foreground to the same color?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: What is the proper procedure for rebooting my Etch-A-Sketch?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I delete a document on my Etch-A-Sketch?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I save my Etch-A-Sketch document?
A: Don’t shake it.
Jason Smith was late to work again
Jason Smith came into the office an hour late for the third time in one week and found his boss Tom waiting for him.
“What’s the story this time, Smith?” he asked sarcastically. “Let’s hear a good excuse for a change.”
Jason sighed, “Everything went wrong this morning, Tom. My wife Cindy decided to drive me to the train station. She got ready in ten minutes, but then the drawbridge got stuck. Rather than let you down, I swam across the river (look, my suit’s still damp), ran out to the airport, got a ride on Mr. Mitchell’s helicopter, landed on top of Radio City Music Hall, and was carried here piggyback by one of the Rockettes.”
“You’ll have to do better than that, Smith,” said the boss, obviously disappointed. “No woman can get ready in ten minutes.”