Random Picture: Elephant
Category: z’Old Funny Crap
Pilot Announcement
I was on a flight and the pilot comes over the public address system as usual and to greet us passengers. He tells us at what altitude we’ll be flying, the expected arrival time, and a bit about the weather, and says relax and have a good flight.. Then, forgetting to turn off the microphone, he said to his co-pilot, “What would relax me right now is a cup of coffee and a BJ.” We all hear it. The flight attendant immediately began running fast as hell toward the cockpit to tell the pilot he messed up, so I yelled at her and said “Don’t forget the coffee!”
Dan Wright has a talking dog
Dan Wright has a talking dog. He brings it to a talent scount. “This dog can speak English,” he claims to the unimpressed agent. “Okay, Sport,” the guys says to the dog, “what’s on the top of a house?” “Roof!” the dog replies. “Oh, come on…” the talent agent responds. “All dogs go ‘roof’.” “No, wait,” Dan says. He asks the dog “what does sandpaper feel like?” “Rough!” the dog answers. The talent agent gives a condescending blank stare. He is losing his patience. “No, hang on,” the Dan says. “This one will amaze you. ” He turns and asks the dog: “Who, in your opinion, was the greatest baseball player of all time?” “Ruth!” goes the dog. And the talent scout, having seen enough, boots them out of his office onto the street. And the dog turns to Dan and says “Maybe I should of said DiMaggio?”