Ancient Chinese Proverbs


1. Baseball is wrong; man with four balls cannot walk.

2. Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.

3. War does not determine who is right; war determine who is left.

4. Man who go to bed with itchy butt wake up with smelly finger.

5. Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.

6. Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.

7. Man with one chopstick go hungry.

8. Man who fart in church sit in own pew.

9. Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.

10. Virginity like bubble, one prick – all gone.

11. Panties not best thing on earth, but next to best thing on earth.

12. Man who run behind car get exhausted.

13. Man who run in front of car get tired.

14. Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.

15. It take many nails to build crib, only one screw to fill it.

16. Man who drives like hell is bound to get there.

17. Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.

18. Man who fish in other man’s well often catch crabs.

Dinner Joke


A hunter named Bill kills a deer and brings it home. He decides to clean it, prepare it, and serve the deer meat for dinner. Bill knows his kids are really fussy eaters, and won’t eat it if they know what it is, so he doesn’t tell them it a deer. Bill’s little boy keeps asking him, “What’s for dinner dad?”

“You’ll see”, Bill replies. They start eating dinner and his daughter keeps asking him what they are eating.

“Ok”, says Bill, “Here’s a hint. It’s what your mother sometimes calls me.”

His daughter screams … “Don’t eat it, Danny! It’s an asshole!”