Types of poop…
GHOST POOP: It’s the kind where you feel the POOP come out, but there is no POOP in the toilet.
CLEAN POOP: It’s the kind where you POOP it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.
WET POOP: It’s the kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels un-wiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and your underwear so you won’t ruin them with stains.
SECOND WAVE POOP: This happens when you’re done POOPing and you’ve pulled your pants up to your knees, and you realize that you have to POOP some more.
POP-A VEIN-IN-YOUR-FOREHEAD POOP: It’s the kind where you strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke.
LINCOLN LOG POOP: The kind of POOP that is so huge you’re afraid to flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the toilet brush.
GASSY POOP: It’s so noisy, that everyone within earshot is giggling.
DRINKER’S POOP: The kind of POOP you have the morning after a long night of drinking. It’s most noticeable trait is the skid marks on the bottom of the toilet.
CORN POOP: Self explanatory.
GEE-I-WISH-I-COULD-POOP POOP: It’s the kind where you want to POOP but all you do is sit on the toilet and fart a few times.
SPINAL TAP POOP: That’s where it hurts so badly coming out, you’d swear it was leaving you sideways.
WET CHEEKS POOP (The Power Dump): The kind that comes out so fast, your butt cheeks get splashed with water.
THE DANGLING POOP: This POOP refuses to drop in the toilet even though you are done POOPing it. You just hope that a shake or two will cut it loose.
THE SURPRISE POOP: You’re not even at the toilet because you are sure you are about to fart, but *oops* — a POOP!
