The Robot Bartender


Bill Dalberg goes into a bar and there is a robot bartender. The robot says,”What will you have?” Bill says “Martini.” The robot brings back the best martini ever and says to Bill, “What’s your IQ?” Bill says, “168.” The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, space exploration and medical technology.

Bill leaves, but he is curious, so he goes back into the bar. The robot bartender says, “What will you have?” Bill says, “Martini”. Again, the robot makes a great martini, gives it to him and says, “What’s your IQ?” Bill says, “100.” The robot then starts to talk about Nascar, Budweiser and John Deere tractors.

Bill leaves, but finds it very interesting, so he thinks he will try it one more time. He goes back into the bar. The robot says, “What will you have?” Bill says, “Martini”, and the robot brings him another great martini. The robot then says, “What’s your IQ?” Bill says, “Uh, about 50.”

The robot leans in real close and says, “So… you gonna cheer for the Dallas Cowboys again this year?”

Grizzly Bear


A Grizzly Bear is chasing a JackRabbit through a forest.

They find a bottle and decide to rub it. A genie pops out. He says, “I will grant each of you three wishes.”

The Grizzly Bear says, “I wish all the bears in the forest were females.” *poof* It’s done.

The JackRabbit says, “I wish for a motorcycle.” *poof* It’s done.

The Grizzly Bear says, “I wish all the bears in this country were females.” *poof* It’s done.

The JackRabbit says, “I wish for a lifetime supply of carrots back at my house.” *poof* It’s done.

The Grizzly Bear is thinking to himself. “Why is the JackRabbit wasting his wishes on stupid small things? oh well.” “And for my third wish, I wish that all the bears in the world were female.” *poof* It’s done.

The JackRabbit says, “For MY last wish, I want the Grizzly Bear to be gay.” And he rides off on his motorcycle.