Jack Zombie goes into a pharmacy

Jack Zombie goes into a pharmacy to to buy some condoms cause he don’t want no Zombie Babies

“What size?” Asks the clerk. “I don’t know” he replies. The clerk says “Go and see Blair in aisle 4″

He goes over to see Blair, who grabs him in the crotch and yells “Medium!”

Jack Zombie is mortified. He hurries over to pay and leaves quickly.

Adam Zombie comes in to buy condoms and gets sent to Blair. She grabs him and yells “Large!”. Adam Zombie struts over to the register, pays and leaves.

A high school Zombie comes in to buy condoms.

“What size?”. The kid Zombie embarrassedly says “I’ve never done this before I don’t know what size”. He gets sent to Blair she grabs him and yells ……

“Clean up needed in aisle 4!”

State-of-the-art Watch

Very confident and smooth Adam Zombie walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive Jade Zombie.

Adam Zombie gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment.

Jade Zombie notices this and asks, “Is your date running late?”

“No,” he replies, “I just got this state-of-the-art watch. I was just testing it.”

Jade Zombie was intrigued & says, “A state-of-the-art watch? What’s so special about it?”

Adam Zombie explains, “It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically.”

Jade Zombie says, “What’s it telling you now?”

“Well, it says you’re not wearing any panties”

Jade Zombie giggles and replies, “Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!”

Adam Zombie, taps his watch and says,

“Fuking thing’s an hour fast..”

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