Professor Turner
Professor Turner was an autopsy teacher. He has giving an introductory lecture to a class of students. Standing over a corpse, he addressed the class. “There are two things you need to make a career in medical forensics.
First, you must have no fear.” Having said that, he shoved his finger into the corpse’s anus and then he boldly licked his finger. “Now you must do the same,” he told the class. After a couple of minutes of uneasy silence, the class did as instructed, each student inserting a finger and then licking it.
“Second,” Professor Turner continued, “you must have an acute sense of observation. For instance, how many of you happened to notice that I put my MIDDLE finger into this man’s anus, but the finger I licked was my INDEX finger?”
Ed Robinson in a bar
Ed Robinson walks into a local bar. He sits down and says to the bartender, “I’ll bet you $200 that if you put a shot glass at that end of the bar, I could stand at the other end and fill it up with my urine.” Well the bartender thinks, “That’s an easy $200.” So he says “Okay.” Ed gets on top of the bar and pees everywhere, even on the bartender. Well, the bartender doesn’t care, he just won $200. So very happily the bartender asks for his money. Ed very happily says, “Here you go!” The bartender then asks, “Why are you so happy?” And Ed says, “Well, do you see that guy at the other end of the bar? I bet him $1000 that I could pee on you and you’ld be happy!”