Punk Zombie

Tracy & Jill

Two blondes, Tracy & Jill were shopping at the mall. When they were done, they went out to their car, which happened to be an awesome leather-interior convertible, but they realized they had locked the keys in the car. So they both kind of stood there and thought for a while.

Tracy had the bright idea to try to open the car with a coat hanger, so she started fiddling with the lock. Jill looked up at the sky, became very worried, and pleaded,

“HURRY, HURRY, IT’S GOING TO RAIN AND WE LEFT THE TOP DOWN!”

Crazy frog music video

Random Pic: Marriage

Rejected Hallmark Greeting Cards

1) So your daughter’s a hooker,
and it spoiled your day.
Look at the bright side,
She’s a really good lay!

2) My tire was thumping,
I thought it was flat.
When I loooked at the tire,
I noticed your cat.
Sorry!

3) You had your bladder removed,
and you’re on the mends.
Here’s a bouquet of flowers
And a box of Depends.

4) You’ve announced that you’re gay,
Won’t that be a laugh,
When they find out you’re one
Of the Joint Chiefs of Staff!

5) Happy Vasectomy!
Hope you feel zippy!
‘Cause when I had mine
I got real snippy!

6) Heard your wife left you.
How upset you must be,
But don’t fret about it,
She moved in with me!

7) You totaled your car
And can’t remember why.
Could it have been
that case of Bud Dry?

Random Pic: House